Gecko funny facts

Geckos don’t make dinner for kids. They have kids for dinner.

Gecko females never go on a diet, unless it’s CGD.

Geckos don’t wear ties, unless they had a very bad shed.

Geckos love red meat. Do you doubt it? Put your fingers in front of a giant ground gecko’s nose, you may change your mind.

Geckos share the same concerns with bimbos as regards UV and fat storage. The comparison stops there: scientists have proven geckos do own a brain.

Did you know geckos were superior to men? Geckos can regrow lost tails. Men just dream of it.

If there was a gecko species over 100 pounds weight, we would certainly not be there to write nasty things about them.

Geckos don’t need a driver’s license. They need drivers to get off the roads!

Geckos don’t spend their life paying for the rent. Cliffs and trees are still free.

Geckos don’t care about Internet bugs, unless those bugs are edible.

What does a pooing gecko says? “I left a comment on your wall!”

Once upon a time a gecko saw the movie “Cliffhanger” and just had a big laugh.

Once upon a time, a gecko heard of the Richter scale. He got scared and disappeared in his burrow to prevent the next scientist around from putting him down in a glass container to find that particular scale!

Geckos are really concerned about their feet. Their motto is “Toe or Die!”

What do you put in a kennel? A barking gecko!

What do some men over fifty and crested geckos have in common? The floppy-tail syndrome.

Why are Italian geckos upset? They can’t wink at girls!

Why do geckos lay two eggs at one time? To give a chance to one of the kids not to have any resemblance with their parents!

What do gecko think of plastic plants? Well, what do WE think of silicone breasts?

Mourning geckos claim for their rights to get paid for any WC obituary.

Why are geckos laying on bark with heads upside down are potential alcoholics? Because they’re bottoms up!

What do good mothers and gecko lovers have in common? Both say aloud “I want more critters home!”

What do ignorant people and tropical geckos have in common? Daily mistings!

What do State Officers and geckos have in common? Several months of brumation are required for both to keep them healthy.

Why do geckos don’t care about a few degrees difference? Because they can’t read care sheets nor do they go on forums.

How do you call a gecko in army clothes? A D-Day Gecko!

Why do geckos hate veterinarians? Well, would you like someone to find the worm inside you?

Why do leopard geckos like more humans than leopards? Hmmm, guess which one ends up as a fur coat?

Cat geckos have nothing in common with cats. They need YOU to provide the warm place.

Some gecko species have eyelids. Most humans shut theirs not to watch the reality they created around them.

Crested geckos deny any parenthood with Mohawks and with the Sex Pistols.

What is the difference between a gecko and a psychiatrist? Some geckos love to burrow in sand, while psychiatrists love to burrow annoying facts in your past.

Last, why are geckos superior to us? Think of a human walking on the ceiling. He’d be either upset with gravity, or be treated a madman. The lack of imagination and adhesive pads is a huge advantage on those whose excessive arrogance drives them to try impossible achievements.

Thorrshamri